From the time she was brought into my life Lola was always someone I looked forward to seeing. She was so in tune with my feelings and needs that even if I wasn't visibly crying or sad, she would know I was on the inside. She would sit in my lap, stare into my eyes, and wish she could make me feel better. She was more than a dog, as an only child she was the closest thing I had to a sibling. She kept me company through every single break up and fall out with friends that I ever experienced. She dried my tears with her fur and was there for some of my happiest memories. She loved me more than anyone in this world ever could.
The selfless love of a pet, especially a dog, is so pure. No matter how you treat your pet they will continue to love you faithfully. I fought for her life and her rights to the bitter end. When others gave up on her, I watched, I went sleepless, I fed her literally out of my own hands day and night to ensure she was happy.
Though I do not regret travelling to Alaska, one of the reasons the trip was so hard was because on my return I discovered Lola's health had deteriorated. She wouldn't eat without me and was so stressed she ended up having a four hour seizure which she barely survived. When I returned home to her she was so frail she could hardly sit up in bed. I nursed her back to health where she could enjoy a walk again but she was never the same and I knew she was in pain.
Knowing when to let go is the hardest part. Taking your own feelings out of it and doing the most humane thing you can do is excruciatingly difficult. I think this was the hardest decision I have ever made in my life. But I knew my sister. And though she pretended she was happy, I knew it was only for my benefit. So I made her appointment and on my own I spent the day with her.
It was bitter sweet watching her enjoy herself just us two the whole day, not knowing what her fate was that afternoon. She did all her favourite things and ate her favourite foods. Through tears I spent that precious time with her that I knew I would remember forever. That last walk and car ride through the beautiful fall trees and scenery as she walked beside me, ears flapping in the wind as always, will be how I remember her. She was free and happy. Her favourite things to be.
Dogs are precious gifts we do not deserve but I am so grateful I got to spend 14 beautiful years with mine. She was the most wonderful creature I ever knew and my heart has a huge hole in it now where she lived, but I have to remember she's still there and dog's lives are always going to be shorter than a human. It was her time. Doesn't make it any easier but at least she isn't in pain any more. Lola will always hold a special place in my life and now forever memorialized on my arm. Love for her always and forever. Goodbye to my little sister.
